Brooke+Johnson

       __I am as a sister, a player, and a consumer very tolerant.__ There are many things that bug me, but I must be patient with such as advertisements, who needs them anyways? Another topic that I’m tolerant with is sports there sure is a lot to get mad about while participating in them but I try to keep my cool. When it comes to siblings I’m pretty tolerant with them and I think we all know just how annoying they can be. I sure am one tolerant sister, consumer, and player!     __Advertisements are things that we all have to be tolerant of.__ I hate when we’re driving down the road on a vacation and I can’t even see nature because of the big bulky billboards! Whenever I’m watching television there is at least ten minutes of pointless commercials, and the actual show itself is only about twenty two minutes or so long. Why is it that I seem to hear more advertisements on the radio than actual music? These are all advertisements that I must deal with in life, no matter how annoying they will always be there. <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;"> <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;">  <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;"> <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;"> <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;">__Sports is definitely a major topic that I have to keep my cool in.__ There’s always going to be that click that thinks they’re better than everyone else and that isn’t afraid to let the other players know it. They are usually the ones who are cocky and put themselves above others and that’s another thing I must learn to ignore. We also seem to get a lot of bad referees especially in basketball. There are many annoying things that go along with sports that I’m very tolerant of. <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;"> <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;"> <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;"> <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;"> <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;">__I’m pretty sure that my siblings are the things that I’m most tolerant of.__ They continuously tattle on me and each-other, although that’s mostly my little sister. It seems like every minute of every day one of us is arguing with another one. Sometimes my stuff seems to go missing like gum or something and it’s pretty obvious that they take it especially when I see them with it. Of all topics I am most tolerant of my siblings. <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;"> <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;"> <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;"> <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;"> <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;">__I’m very tolerant when it comes to siblings, sports, and advertisements.__ I absolutely cannot stand advertisements, but I tolerate them anyways. I get very mad during sports sometimes too but I have to put up with it for the team. I’m extremely tolerant with my siblings too. Siblings, sports, and advertisements are some of the things I’m most tolerant of.
 * //<span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;">Tolerance //** <span style="font-family: Georgia,serif;">

3. For the paragraphs, you could give a little more detail on the subject you are explaining. I can pick out the details but they aren't necessarily relevant. Other than that, your details are pretty good. 4. I really like how you used your personality in the essay. You weren't boring which kept me interested. Ia also enjoyed how you made a connection with the audience. Nice Work! 6. Watch for grammer and punctuation errors, and be careful of the run-ons. There are a few in there. Nice Job though.