Jakob+Lewis

Jakob Lewis

Tolerance

I have to tolerate many things. I have to tolerate my family a lot. Then when I go to school I have to tolerate the people there as well. Then when I go to the mall I have so many people selling me things even when I am watching TV. I have to tolerate many things and people.

My family is what i have to tolerate the most. When I get home and I want to play my game on my computer and then my brother gets on before me. Then when I am so mad that I don’t get to play, my dad comes home and sees my report card. Then I tried to hide under the stack of papers and then he starts to tell me a lot of things that needs to get done. After the talk from my dad my mom comes down stairs and tells me to let the dogs out. I'm always tolerating something around my family.

The next day I go to school and here comes all the annoying kids. Fist of all I am half asleep so I run into someone by accident and they start saying “you want to fight punk”. I just look at them and keep walking. Then I walk into class and someone is yelling TEST TEST! The guy across the room is yelling back “WE KNOW”! They are so much to tolerate.

After school I go to the mall. Someone walks right up to me and asks me “would you like some makeup for you mother”. Now first of all ,I am broke because I just got out of a movie and second of all ,what if my mom was dead? He could really upset someone. So I go home and turn on the TV and as soon as I do this guy YELLS at me “SHAMWOW!” It was some wash rag that was made in China or something that could be used like a mop. There is always someone trying to sell you something.

There is so much to tolerate on a daily basis that it is almost to much to take. Your family tell you to do stuff. Kids at school loosing there mind. Then them people trying to sell you stuff. It never ends you always will have to tolerate something.

1. You need to check your spelling in all of the paragraphs...theres many of mistakes...

2. You need to explain more, in detail in all of your paragraphs, you need to put in more detail sentences...

3. Make some of your sentences longer, and your third paragraph doesn't make sense in the beginning......

4. You need to stay on topic more on your every one of your first sentences...and give more detail...