Wyatt+Mead


 * Tolerance Essay**

You have to have a lot of tolerance to go through what I go through. Like the classmates that I have I have to have tolerance with them, especially Devon. I also have tolerance with teachers because they can be bad sometimes to. The one person that I have the most tolerance with is Devon. You have to have tolerance with so many things. Classmates are one of the things that you have tolerance with. Like when they are really annoying (Devon) or just don’t shut up ever (Devon). For example Devon is someone that I have a lot of tolerance for. Like he never shuts his mouth in class and is always saying something stupid that makes me want to punch him in the face. So you have to have tolerance with classmates and Devon. Teachers are also people that you have to have tolerance with. Like Mrs. Vaccaro is someone I have a lot of tolerance with because she is really mean to us and never lets us go in the gym when were at the school after school. Plus she is like always watching us and making sure we don’t do anything wrong. That is why I have tolerance for her. The bus is also a place that I have tolerance with. I have tolerance on the bus because the little kids are always in the way and screaming and I just want to palm their head and throw them to the back of the bus. Like if I’m walking in the walk way and they will just step in front of me and just get me mad. So I have tolerance with the little kids to. Tolerance is dealing with people or things that you don’t like.

 1. Yes there is a thesis

2. Yes, maybe make one of the topic sentences a question to hook the reader.

3. Try adding some stronger details.

4. You should consider using some fancy different words.

5. Yes